Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
