you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
its liver damage thursday
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
