seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
