Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

i woke up with socks on this morning

(485): View more from

so?

(912): View more from Georgia

i didnt wear socks last night

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(702): View more from Nevada

You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

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(515): View more from Iowa

On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...

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