didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
