You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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