Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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