My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
