What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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