On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
