What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
