evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
