i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
