i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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