i just google imaged poop.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize