Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry shawnwoolsey117 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(516): View more from New York

Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think

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(859): View more from Kentucky

In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel

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(402): View more from Nebraska

found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.

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(818): View more from California

Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Your shit was massive.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.

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