I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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