Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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