At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
