Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
