you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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