The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize