So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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