Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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