there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
