I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
