I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
