with your own penis?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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