all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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