god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I need water and some morals
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
