I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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