dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
