playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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