Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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