Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
