I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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