Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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