I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
