I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
