i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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