She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
