I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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