Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize