yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
