you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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