Having a random hookup so left but love u
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
