i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
