Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my shit smells like andre
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
