walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
