? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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