I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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