You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
