So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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