You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
