Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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