what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
