im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
