You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
