so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
