And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
